Monday, October 10, 2011

I should have known - Part 2 (The madness)

To the reality, I snap back,
A moment that I were to crack.
The ground I stood, vanished
When it was to be me, the one banished.
A time that'd come to take me down
I should have known

Flyin' in my mind, ghosts of the past
Them, I can't see, they fly so fast!
In flashes they'd stop and still
Your eyes I'd see, they kill!
There I am and my mind so blown
This was coming, I should have known


A lifeless life, a zombie walk
All this and little that I talk
There was but a purpose defeated
And nothing around, I was belittled
Out of the throne I was thrown
This, I should have known


All that were heaven, turned hell
With a hand not to hold, i fell
Done in were the sweet dreams
Breakin' sleeps with nightmarish screams
Inside my head there'd be a cyclone
That one, I should have known


Visions, people, feels, all surreal
A world apart from that one so real
With no compass, an endless drift
Into the dark, searching a lost gift.
A voice from within, a gloomy tone
Says, I should have known.

Premkumar.
Oct 10, 2011.

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

I should have known - Part 1 (The dawning of the dusk)

Dry, cold and late - it was just another night
Written in my fate, the last i felt right
Hit me not the tropical summer
For the inconveniently chilling emotional slumber
Is that to come from my own?
Well, I should have known

Years down the memory lane
Oceans sweeter than the cane
The love that you lent-
The missing ingredient
What in me have you sown?
Well, I should have known

Walls of care; joy and tears
In your eyes, pure and clear
The shining, pricking glare
Veiling reality, oh, do I really care?
Before I took your crown
I should have known

In anger, happiness and sorrow
Its your time I had to borrow
Together we'll grow, you promised!
Oh, how is that to be missed?
There is a world to be dealt with, alone
I should have known!

Many my mistakes were
Nevertheless you know, I do care
I forgot my life, way and vision
Living a dream; a delusion
I was becoming your clone
Perhaps, I should have known!

I found 'cause of you, a purpose
This I sure must confess
I changed, for the good or bad
For I was so inane or mad
This was getting to my bone
Darn, I should have known!

You taught me love, care and emotions
You alleviated all my worst premonitions
I fell, I had your hand to hold
Now I walk with my hands in pocket, not bold
To face the world's  unforgiving cold
Staring at the path I was never shown
For once, I should have known!

Premkumar

Thursday, August 18, 2011

The odd Motivating Factors

I am sometimes over optimistic. Probably I was the only one who believed that India will win the 3rd test against England even on the 4th day of play and I still believe that we'll bounce back to win the 4th test and the ODI series 5-0. I always like to take positives out of even the worst of situations. Here are some of the usually negative factors that I feel can be motivating too.

1) Anger
Anger is something that is almost always perceived to be a negative character. According to me anger is probably the most influential factor for motivation. I feel most aggressive and ambitious when I am angry. There are no bounds to the visions you get when anger fills you. Your anger may be because of someone saying you are wrong, you can't or you won't. That is when you feel the strong need to prove yourself. Ideas flow through your mind at a frantic pace and you'll put in your best effort to prove yourself when you are filled with anger. You'll also be amazed to see how everything subside once you calm down. The trade secret is to sustain your anger long enough that you do something during that time to achieve your objective. I am not telling that one should always be hot and rude. Anger is like nuclear energy - it can destroy you and your surrounding but, if channelized in the right way, can make wonders

2) Annoyance
Being annoyed is one scenario that can work your way if properly worked on. When an mosquito bites you, you instantaneously react. In the same way, you would never want to exist in an annoying scenario for long. In other words, you start working more than you normally do to get rid of the annoying factors.

3) Disappointment
You are disappointed with something. What do you do? Sit back and repent? Or work towards the betterment of the situation? One with a positive attitude, does the latter. Sometime, disappointment comes with the above two too. That is when you are at your best to perform better!

4) People
People! Ah, how motivating are they? It may be the person that you care about or someone that irritates you or ridicules you or someone who inspires you. This may sound familiar and you may wonder why I call it an odd factor. Here I am specifically talk about people who have a negative influence on you. Those people are capable of producing the other five factors mentioned here. That is when you will feel the urge in you to achieve and conquer them.

5) Humiliation
Humiliation is probably the most powerful among the six factors. I have a perfect example for this from my own life. My mom often used to remind me of this incident. When I was in 4th std, a girl always used to get the first rank and I always came next. One day, while we were talking about marks and stuff, she said to me "You can never get the first rank". That day when I returned home, I threw my schoolbag to a corner and told my mom, "She says I can never get first rank. Ava kitta naan yaarunu kattren (I'll show her who I am)". In the very next exam, I was the topper (And thats the only time I topped the class in that school). I was humiliated and i was angry. I was able to sustain the anger till I got the first rank and then became calm and reverted back to normal. I should perhaps have kept that fire burning and that might have sustained my position at the top. This is exactly what I said in the anger section. Keep the fire in you for good. Here, this is a case of humiliation triggering anger.

6) Frustration
Frustration is a mix of all the above mentioned things. This is something that has the potential to have a deep negative impact on you. This happens when there is some heavy obstacles in the path leading to your goals. You may feel frustrated even when you are in your most motivated state. But then remember this - there is nothing like immediate results. This frustration will make you double your efforts so that your goals appear to be within your reach.

Develop the habit of seeing positives in everything. You'll become unstoppable!

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Comfort zone - The deceiver


Comfort zone can be defined in two ways (According to me; I haven't given much thought about it before starting with this post, so in case you don't agree with my definitions, feel free to educate me in the comments section) - one with respect to communication or performing some action in front of someone or in a particular situation and the other in a macroscopic view, with respect to how happy one is with his life.

Lets take the first perspective. Comfort level is the extent to which you can talk or act or behave in a place without any inhibitions or discomfort. People generally use the phrase "expand your comfort zone" for better personal presentation. The wider your comfort zone, the better you are presented as yourself as people tend to present themselves as someone they are not in places where they don't feel comfortable. Its probably because they think they don't belong to the group or people may ridicule them or fear of making a fool of oneself in front of everyone. But many, including me, don't realize that a common man has much more freedom than the ones in the limelight. A common English guy can dance on the street (without causing disturbance, ofcourse) but the Queen can't even walk the streets. Imagine how people would ridicule when a Nobel Laureate makes a blunder in his presentation?? With so few eyes on you, you can afford to make mistakes. When you are no longer bothered about how people would think about you and start bothering about how you want you to be, only then you really enjoy the freedom that you have. Don't talk about expanding your comfort zones, just stop bothering about comfort zones. After all, however big comfort zones are, the still pose a boundary.

Now coming to the important perspective, the one which I really wanted to write about - the comfort zones at a macro level - your life. God gave everyone 1.36 kg of a neuron rich thing. It is always empty for everyone when they are born. Your life is decided not by the amount of stuff you put into it but by how much you want to use it. An average guy may want something in life that he thinks to be the ultimate goal. It may be something like a healthy family, a house in a calm location, a job that is secure and pays enough to lead a comfortable life and a vehicle big enough to hold his family. As, I said in an earlier post, "Perfect" is a relative term. According to him, this scenario is perfect for his life- a comfort zone. But someone who is more ambitious would want more. He might want to explore more places; do something that he loves apart from what his job requires him to do; get the feel of driving a better vehicle. There may be few who feel that they have to explore the world and don't like to be confined to a particular place or a country. They feel that if God has made for the world for everyone, then I have to enjoy it as much as I can before I leave. Then there is the one who feels - "Should I just be one among 6 billion?; If the world is not going to be affected in any way when i cease to exist, why did God create me? Why do I exist? Am I just a dispensable part of the whole process?" This is the guy who wants to make a mark in this world; wants to make his presence felt. For him there is no stopping at anything; his definition of a perfect life keeps on getting revised as and when he achieves it. Whenever he achieves a target - a comfort zone, he is not lured to stay back and enjoy; he looks at how much there is in this world and how much he has achieved; he moves on treating every such target as a hurdle and not as a resort. 

While I was discussing something with my friend in similar lines with what I have written above, he comfortably interpreted it in terms of money. When you look at that way, the entire perspective of seeing the world as God's gift becomes meaningless. I agree that you might need money to achieve certain goals in life but if money becomes your primary objective, your goals become mere cover ups for your greed. 

So, think of how big the world is and where you are in it. If you feel the world is not enough for you, go for the moon. Who knows? You may even end up reaching it one day! 

Saturday, August 13, 2011

Of Dreams and Visions and the Reality

You are given one life. What do you want to do with with?? You can live a Bill Gates, an Abdul Kalam, a J K Rowling or an Einstein or just be one among 6 billion. Well, may be not Einstein, but the rest are right on the cards, especially the last one.Yeah, you have the power to make yourself whatever you want to be.

Many successful people had a clear vision in their mind of what they wanted to be. They dreamed of themselves achieving their goals and then woke up one day to see themselves realizing the dream. When i think about dreams, the first thing that comes to my mind is the movie "The October Sky". Homer Hickam was inspired by Sputnik I and wanted to conquer space. He had a dream of exploring space. A strong dream and a strong vision that was etched in his mind. He started with building mini rockets with his friends. The path was not easy. Ofcourse, rarely, if not never, do your dreams align with the reality. Homer faced a lot of hardships including being ousted from school but he never gave up. There is this saying, "Failures are only temporary conditions. Giving up is what makes it permanent". Homer never gave up and one day he ended up at NASA. The only thing that kept him going is his strong vision of his dreams.

The other thing that can be attributed to Homer's success is the fact that what did was exactly what he was passionate about. He was obsessed with rockets and even though he was from a coal mining town, he worked on this alien-to-his-place field. Yes, always do what you love to do. From every one of your personal experiences, you may find it exceedingly convincing that your 100% effort and commitment will be seen only when you do what you love. When you are passionate about something that you want, you'll always have that vision of yourself in future having all that you wanted. Whenever you dream about it, you will live it. You get a feel about it that is so real and so satisfying that it triggers you to work towards erasing the boundaries separating your dream from the reality.

When you are driven by dreams and passion, it is very important to set measurable targets along the course of achieving the goal. There is a huge possibility of your passion taking over your conscious mind and thus leaving you lost and no longer would you be able to differentiate between your dream and the reality. This is when your passion becomes madness. But when you have measurable targets, you will know where you are and where your dream is and what you need to do to cover the distance. These targets will take you very close to your ultimate goal if at all you don't achieve it which is rare when you have a clear goal and vision.

So guys, go ahead, dream big, dream about what you love and what you want; visualize it; get the feel of what it will be like when you get it; work with passion and you'll find your dream come true in no time :)

Sunday, August 7, 2011

Ideal and Perfect

"Ideal" and "Perfect" are two closely related terms. Infact wordweb defines the term ideal as "Conforming to an ultimate standard of perfection or excellence". Often the usage of these words is misplaced. A student would have come across these words in his school level chemistry when he learnt about "Ideal gas" and "Perfect gas". According to me, the definitions of the ideal and perfect gases best reflect the meaning of these two words.

An ideal gas is a theoretical gas that obeys all the gas laws. Yeah, its "theoretical". That implies, it doesn't exist in reality. Its an absolute term and there are no double standards associated with it. Whereas a perfect gas is something whose "imperfections" are neglected thereby qualifying it to be called :perfect" - irony. So, we can say that ideal is absolute and impossible while perfect is relative with varying standards.

People might want everything in this world to be ideal. Think of an ideal society having ideal people with ideal characteristics. That might sound nice at first but a deeper thought on it would bring out many results of idealistic behaviour that would actually end up in an undesirable condition. In such an ideal society, people will live their life all by themselves. All of them will satisfy their own needs - they'll gather their food, build their shelter and make clothes. When all this is done, there won't be any money as everything people need are obtained by themselves and not "bought". But then, when this happens, the resources will be burnt out, the balance of the ecosystem will fail as the humans would take control of almost anything in their way (though not with bad intentions, they are ideal, remember) and finally a saturation will be reached beyond which life would be mechanised and fixed.

Now, amidst these hypothetical ideal creatures, lets introduce a deviant - a non compliant. This single guy spoils the equilibrium of the entire system. This single imperfect guy triggers a collapse that breaks the perfection and thereby drastically rearranging the system's elements. These elements move (behaviour in this case) in such a way that they constantly strive to regain their ideal state. This movement forms a highly dynamic condition where the movement of one element towards its own ultimate perfection would have a significant effect on the other thereby altering its movement. This creates a continuous inter-dependent rearrangement of the elements taking the system towards a stable condition - the ideal condition - which as said earlier is impossible.

I find it sensible to assume that the rate of change of the system is directly proportional to the randomness of the system from the the time it achieved its most chaotic condition. Its more like radioactive decay, the decay process continues but never ends. The curve of the progress towards the ultimate perfection will be asymptotic to the "ideal line". 

Lets go back to the civil society. Humans lived in forests hunting food; then formed groups; developed means of communication; made territorial boundaries; rulers came in; democracy was introduced; soldiers, police were needed to maintain and finally we have a working governmental structure that strives (supposedly) to stabilise the countries in a near perfect state. Systems have been devised to curb down all those imperfections that arise now and then so that they don't get to disturb the stability. As in the case of the perfect gas where we neglected the imperfections to deem it perfect, we can also call the current system near-perfect if not perfect.

Its these imperfections that create the dynamics of everything. Afterall, if we need to sustain life and activity on this planet, imperfections are a necessity. Its imperfections that provide a balance between good and bad and right and wrong and keeps us driving towards sorting it out and progress towards the ever elusive ultimate perfection - Ideal.

Disclaimer: Read the URL of this blog. This post is directly from my mind after some random musing. The idea may or may not be correct. Feel free to blast me in the comments section :)

Saturday, July 30, 2011

DO IT! - The strategy that yields, always

I have started blogging in 2007. Four years have passed and you can't call me a blogger yet. Yep, I have around 7-8 blogs and only one of them has a posts count of more than 5. I've always dreamed of having a blog with a traffic of tens of thousands a month. Ofcourse that is fair; everyone wants to be famous. What is that i should do to achieve that goal? May I had to write; write and write very regularly on topics that are informative and interesting. But then things didn't go as planned. Perhaps, I never planned it or even wrote anything on a regular basis! Yes, I had a goal, i had a vision - a vision of how its going to be if that goal is achieved but I never saw the path leading to that destination.

I somehow got to know some famous (though I never knew them until last week) names such as Tom Peters and Seth Godin. It was probably the right time that I watched the videos of their talks on goals, leadership and management as recently there has been a drastic change in my idea on goals and the elements related to it. I was watching some random video of Tom Peters in which he quoted some top manager of some big organisation - "We have developed this amazing strategy - DO IT!". So, thats the first thing that went wrong in my case - I never did anything other than dreaming. In fact that video is the only reason that I am doing this post. Then, I stumbled upon one of Seth Godin's videos that talked about ideas. He talked about the inventor of "Sliced Bread", Otto Frederick Rohwedder and how he messed up with his idea. His "sliced bread" venture flopped because his idea never really reached anyone. He mentioned this phrase "Idea that travels, wins". This is where I went wrong again. How foolish it is to sit and write a blog and expect traffic! Especially if the blog has such weird, senseless title and a retarded URL like this one! :/

Seth Godin also talked about blogging in another video. He says, "If you are good at it, you do it well and get readers. If you are bad at it but still stick onto it, you become good at it". And thats exactly what I intend to do. I don't really know whether I am good or bad at blogging though the obviously disorganized and incoherent content of this post suggest that I am hopelessly bad. So, I'll stick to the sticking to blogging idea of Seth Godin. I'm pretty sure that you can expect some organised and sensible content from here on, hopefully.